Pants (aka mandatory sexual harassment training)

General:

• keep it in your pants and keep it out of other people's pants.


• don't talk about your pants or talk about other people's pants.


• don't look at your pants or look at other people's pants.


• you may not offer employment to people based upon their pants.


• you may not accept pants as a benefit of employment.


• you may not have pants on your desktop.


• you cannot use the company network to send email about pants.


• you may not have office relationships with your pants or other people's pants.


• the company can be sued based upon how you conduct yourself with your pants and with the pants of others.


• you can be sued based upon how you conduct yourself with your pants and with the pants of others.


• if there is a "implied perception" playing with pants, you will be subjected to a disembodied hand touching your elbow.

It is your responsibility to let HR know if:

• you begin thinking about pants.


• know someone else who is thinking about pants.


• overhear someone talking about pants.


• see pants displayed in an inappropriate manner.

I am sure there will be more. I've only gotten through part of the keep it in your pants training.