Sadness...

My sewing machine of 12 years is dieing. Last night it started skipping stitches. And not just a stitch here a stitch there. Nope huge hunks of inches of missed stitches. The top thread was not picking up the bottom thread. I broke 3 needles last night. We have been through a lot together. Wedding dresses star trek costumes, countless amounts of garb and Halloween costumes.After Pennsic I will have to look for a replacement.

It is on it's last legs. And I keep asking it to give more... I am waiting for its little motor heart to stop. Today there I am filled with sadness for my little Pfaff. I feel like I'm loosing an extension of me.

[meme]I need a brain break

I need 5 minutes away from working on Sales Force. It is interesting to see how people see you, and how you see yourself. Lemme know if you want words back. Here are 5 words from Dreda (they are good words for me... they made me have to think).

Research- where my brain goes when it needs to be stimulated or distracted.It is one of my favoritest happy places.I can get lost in the wheres, whys, and how comes. One path leads to 10 more and then there is growth. Appeals to my geeky, hermity nature.

Limitation- a thing to be broken. I don't like them. Physically, emotionally, or mentally. When confronted with a wall, I will go around it or through it. The easiest way to get me to do/learn something is to tell me that I can't (stupidity things aside, I still have judgment).

Stretching- to extend, force, or make serve beyond the normal or proper limits. something I embrace... usually. This goes with limitation. I have to stretch past my boundaries to over come limitations. Often this is not without
some pain, but worth it in the end if there has been growth.

Bright- how I see myself. I feel like a light... happy, bubbly, illuminating. I like to share this light with those around me. It feels good to surround those I love in a warm, bright bath of light. In turn, people shine back and create their own brightness. Some one once said, you can be the person people are happy to see come into a room, or you can be the person they are happy to see leave. I want to be the happy coming in.

No- the hardest word to use in my vocabulary. I am much better at using this than say 10 years ago. Sometimes it is physically painful to tell some one no, especially to those I know and love. In a complete 180, I can be the "no" woman. Unforgiving, un-deterrent, and adamant. Professionally, I am the "no" woman, rule enforcer. And the "no" woman doesn't wear pink.

5 more... Gracias SimonaKat

Comedy- my sewing room before Pennsic, if by sewing room I mean the whole house. Watching Cello slide across a hard wood. How many cats can fit on a bolt of linen. Comedy is the small snippets of life that make me laugh, long after the moment has passed.

Badgers eating Pelicans... makes me giggle even now.

Comfy- the feeling you get when you snuggle in a warm blankie fresh from the dryer. Comfy is listening to the rain come down, while buried in a glass of coco in front of a fire. Comfy is a bottle of port, and sharing tales, laughter, tears, joy and pain.

Comfy is love and a pair of fuzzy bunny slippers.

Waste- of time, talent, resources, fill in your thing here. I live life to the fullest and have little time for people who waste their potential. Never waste a chance to find joy in the laughter of a small child or the wonder of watching the sun rise. For me... waste is about the missed opportunity.

I only have so many mornings... I don't want to waste any of them.

Play- something everyone should do at least once per day... everyday. Play is how I interact with the world. It brings me joy, makes me giggle and is fun to do with others. It is two shiny glitter balls in the hands of people with cat personalities.I start almost every fencing bout with wanna play or let's play. It is a catlike enthusiasm to play with my "prey".

It keeps me connected to my inner child. It keeps the bad things from destroying me.

Family- People who love you inspite of having moments of teh dumb. The people who will give the shirt off their back and expect nothing in return. Where you go when you need to feel and give love. I expect nothing less than the truth tempered with kindness from these folks, and I give the same in return. These people are not bound by blood, but by love. When some one in need asks for help, and you give without looking back or thinking twice... they are capital "F"amily. Though if you have been to my house more than 3x then you are lowercase "f"amily, and can get it your own darned self.

My Family is my favoritest happy place ever.